Being a Glorified YouTube Reaction Video Wrought as a Shambolic Three-Act Mockery of a Dramaturgical Pompfest Upon the Premiere of
Theatre of the Absurd presents C’est La Vie

Conceived, Written and Performed by
Donald Trull and Jonathan Young

SPOILER WARNING!
The following review contains in-depth, track-by-track discussion of the first half of the new Madness long-playing record. If you have not yet had the privilege of listening to said album, and do not wish to have its parameters coloured in at the edges of scribbled margins by a couple of chin-stroking hack fans dancing overgleefully in their broad britches, please do proceed no further. We welcome your return after your unsullied mind has properly digested this most thrilling magnum opus.

Dramatis Personae

MR YOUNG, an English Madness aficionado 
MR TRULL, an American Madness aficionado
THE COMPÈRE, a popular English thespian and Hobbit 
TELEGRAM BOY

Scene: Some dark theatre in London. At centre stage rests a single elevated balcony box, framed by red velvet curtains. Within the regal luxury box are sat two middle-aged gentlemen of refined bearing, clad in old-fashioned three-piece suits festooned with Madness lapel pins.

MR TRULL (impatiently checking his pocket watch): What’s taking so long?

MR YOUNG: Patience, dear boy. The show will begin soon enough. 

MR TRULL: I sure hope so. Can you believe it’s been seven years since the last one? That’s how long their whole first run lasted before the ’86 breakup! 

MR YOUNG: Indeed. Pity how the pandemic delayed the best laid plans.

MR TRULL: Man, stupid COVID. But don’t forget, they originally said it was gonna premiere by the end of 2019, as part of the Madness XL anniversary celebration (scoffs). They could have got it out just before the pandemic if they’d stayed on schedule.

MR YOUNG: Perhaps so. But that would have been a much different work. These new songs have been enriched by the band’s lockdown experiences and all the time they’ve spent together in the Cricklewood rehearsal space. From what we heard at Koko, the new songs are bloody brilliant.

MR TRULL (mockingly): “Oh Koko this, Koko that…” You Brits are so damn lucky, you know? Getting all these exclusive preview shows and new tours every time you turn around? In America we get diddly squat. All I’ve got to go on is the preview EP songs and The Get Up! But yeah, I am awfully impressed. And with the theatrical act structure and all that, I think this thing is going to be amazing. 

MR YOUNG: Quite agree. At first I thought the lengthy title was a bit much, but I’ve come to like it. Harkens back to Madness Presents The Rise and Fall, and it’s in the grandiose style of The Liberty of Norton Folgate.

MR TRULL: Me, I’m happy because I wanted the album to be called Theatre of the Absurd. I was disappointed when Chris announced it was going to be C’est La Vie, but the portmanteau makes a fine compromise.

MR YOUNG: I see “Theatre of the Absurd” as the latest Madness alter ego, following on the Invaders and the Dangermen. Like a troupe of music hall troubadours, a fictional Sgt. Pepper identity putting on a make-believe show.

MR TRULL: Remains to be see what the fans will settle on calling the album for short. What do you reckon?

MR YOUNG (considers): Well, it abbreviates as TOTAPCLV, so maybe we’ll be saying TOTAP. Especially if it’s a real toe-tapper. Get it?

MR TRULL (groans): Yeah, more likely we’ll end up with CLV. Which, if you mumble it quickly, kinda sounds like C’est La Vie. Oh, and I’m looking forward to the Martin Freeman intros. 

MR YOUNG: You know, he’s been a longtime fan of Madness and vocal in his support. Even turned up interviewed in the Gogglebox DVD set.

MR TRULL: Not to mention he’s collaborated with my other favorite UK artist, Paul Weller. My dude Bilbo is living the dream.

MR YOUNG: Well, he is a dedicated Mod, just without the parka. In his spoken word bits, I expect he’ll be putting his Everyman spin on the Chas Smash MC role, something like Charlie Higson did in The Get Up! Martin Freeman certainly has gone far since The Office and…

The house lights go down. Sound effects of audience murmurs and applause.

MR TRULL: Oh, it’s about to begin!

The Compère strides onstage in a shimmering gold lamé tuxedo with matching bow tie. 

THE COMPÈRE (as a languid piano refrain tinkles and the orchestra tunes up): Mr Beckett sir, your audience awaits…

MR YOUNG (whispers): Quaint music box sounding backing by Mike, love it.

The curtain raises, revealing a backcloth painted with a nuclear explosion. Suddenly the band appear, frozen in a single transfixed tableau. Beset all around by drones, robot attacks, missiles, incoming meteor strikes, the band members display varied expressions of panic, all save Suggs, who grins brandishing slightly damaged crockery. A fog of fracking gas leaks across the stage while a newspaper flickers aflame, illuminating the walls in the dark and near-empty theatre. This is all reflected only within the eyes of our two shocked onlookers.

MR YOUNG (whoops): Cor Blimey Guvnor, them Maddy boys dun been through the wars and no mistakin. Ohh look lord luv a rubber duck. (Cups hand to side of his mouth and stage whispers.) Erm… Mr Playwright sir, I‘m English, I‘m not Dick Van Dyke.  

MR TRULL (aside): Sorry, I went full Pygmalion there. I’ll dial it back, Jon.

“Theatre of the Absurd” by G. McPherson begins to play from the loudspeakers. The distressed performers remain static throughout. Our focus remains on the gentlemen in the luxury box, lit by a spotlight.

MR YOUNG: Ah, this is nice way to set the stage, as it were.

MR TRULL: Yeah, it’s better suited as a sort of overture than a finale, isn’t it? Pulling the “We Are London” duty for this album.

MR YOUNG: Reminds me of some of Suggs’s solo work, like “Cracks in the Pavement” and “The Greatest Show on Earth.” 

MR TRULL: Definitely got that Sgt. Pepper feel with the “Day in the Life” orchestra fugue, and some “Penny Lane” brass. And Suggs is going for a bit of John Lennon phrasing, the way he draws out “absur-ur-ur-ur-urrrd… ur-ur-ur-urrrddd…“

MR YOUNG: I like that bit. Brings in that sorrow of playing to an empty audience from The Get Up, the weirdness during lockdown.  

MR TRULL: Remember they actually billed this as “The Cruellest Comedy” in The Get Up? Obviously they realized “Theatre of the Absurd” is a much cooler title.

MR YOUNG: Lovely little trumpet flourishes from Joe near to the end here. A very strings-led tune that grew in arrangement from the first lockdown gig with that string quartet. Listen closely at the end of the second minute, you can hear someone strike up their zippo lighter twice, just to add to the atmospheric absurdity. So how many lard biscuits you reckon, then?

MR TRULL (considers): I’ll give it four biscuits out of five. A solid opening number.

“If I Go Mad” by G. McPherson begins to play.

MR TRULL (fist pumps): Yeah! Love this one!

MR YOUNG: This funky tune has been around and toured for a while now. It’s already started to get a good grip on the fan base, even if some of the crowds have been singing the chorus as “five go mad” and even “Fargo Man”! (Laughs.)

MR TRULL: Yeah, I notice they’re enunciating the “If I…” more clearly on the studio version. You know, I wasn’t so impressed with the first new songs that surfaced after “Bullingdon Boys,” like “Before We Was We” and “In My Street.” But when I heard this one on The Get Up! livestream, I immediately loved it. This is everything I want in a Madness song. 

MR YOUNG: They all really gel on this one, don’t they? You’ve got the big rhythm laid down by Woody, and Mez’s unique additional percussion strongly following Bedders, there’s brass stings and guitar stabs and even a Lee twanger! But it’s got stops and wonderful minimalism in parts too. And Suggs is enjoying himself. Here again he’s working through his frustrations as a performer denied his stage during the pandemic, finally able to release that pent-up energy. 

MR TRULL: When he says “If I go mad without you,” that can be interpreted as “without the audience,” or “without my career,” in addition to “the girl I know.” Because “we all need the money and we all miss the show!” And at first I thought Suggs was saying “we all need the raise,” but I know the British say “pay rise” instead of “pay raise.” So it’s “we all need the readies”? What’s that, like horsetrack betting forms?

MR YOUNG: Nah, that means money. There’s a load of English references in the lyrics. O Lucky Man is a 1973 comedy film. “Where have you been?” and “The crooked man” come from nursery rhymes. Makes you think of Suggs sitting round watching old films and children’s shows on telly, bored off his arse. Then for the middle eight, he dredges up a passage from his and Carl’s old B-side “Call Me.”

MR TRULL: Love that part, and how the frenetic energy compares to the sedated original. Suggs manages to get the lyrics out more coherently here than on The Get Up: “Here’s to all the fishes with no dish!” (Laughs.) But one part that was better on the livestream was the intro. I loved how it led off with Woody beating the shit out of his drums like Dave Grohl. On the album it starts with the harmony vocals going “Ooooh ooooh,” I guess fitting with the song’s train theme.

MR YOUNG: Sounds a bit like the intro on Big Mountain’s “Baby I Love Your Way,” too. But yeah, great track, and it’s always nice to have a Madness song use the actual word “mad.”

MR TRULL: Five biscuits from me!

“Baby Burglar” by M. Barson/L. Thompson begins to play.

MR YOUNG: This is another of Lee’s songs reflecting on the juvenile delinquency of his past. But tackling a more serious message than “Land of Hope and Glory” and “Idiot Child,” here he considers what might have happened if he had gone beyond petty crime instead of turning his life around.

MR TRULL: I’ve heard different accounts of what this song is about. One interview said it was inspired by Lee discovering a teenage thief invading his home, but the song references murder. So I’m guessing it’s various ideas composited together?

MR YOUNG: Yeah. The title comes from Thommo’s experiences at reform school. Older boys mocked newcomers at the institution by jeering, “Here come the baby burglars.” The murder case refers to a Berkshire police officer who died after teenage thieves stealing a quad bike dragged him off down a road for a mile. “In a moment of madness.” 

MR TRULL: Whoa, that’s intense. 

MR YOUNG: It follows the tradition of spooky ghost ska songs and ska courtroom songs, like Prince Buster’s “Judge Dread” and the Specials’ “Stupid Marriage,” with the judge sentencing the rude boy character. The lyrics for this always were a struggle for Suggs on live versions, so I’m glad to finally hear it all with clarity.

MR TRULL: I think the recording works better than on The Get Up! I prefer this ending with Suggs repeating “Baby burglar…”  I rate it four biscuits.

MR YOUNG: The new fade ending is fine. But I will be reinstating the brass section Batman theme ending on my own personal listens as I like it. 

MR TRULL: Batman theme? Don’t think I ever heard that version.

MR YOUNG: I’ll send you a link.

THE COMPÈRE (over a melodramatic cue of piano and organ): Surrounded on all sides, in an increasingly difficult situation, is there still the possibility of escape?

MR YOUNG: Looking for tension-building for your film soundtrack? Ring M. Barson, he’s your man. 

“C’est La Vie” by M. Barson begins to play.

MR TRULL: After that overflowing cornucopia of a Prologue, the show proper begins! Is it coincidence that the first three songs are the previews from The Get Up? We’re in terra incognita from here on out.

MR YOUNG: Pushed off with a raucous blast from Lee and horror film organ from Mike.

MR TRULL (ponders): I get heavy Ian Dury vibes from this one. It’s like the kind of song Ian would write about the mess we’re in today, if he was still around. With foreign phrases in the chorus, like “Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick.”

MR YOUNG: I quite like the French bits. Not so keen on Suggs’s vocals on the verses. It’s strange the lead single may be my least favourite track. But the spooky chorus is strong. You just have to get there for the song to really get into gear.

MR TRULL: Myself, I give this song another five biscuits. Instant classic. That chorus is an earworm, for sure. Even if you have no idea what the words mean, as Suggs claims he doesn’t himself. By now we’ve all looked up the translation: “I’m not doing it, that’s life. That’s how it’s going to be.”

MR YOUNG: I’m still not sure what Mike’s on about. What is it he does not want to do? Is it his perspective on the rat race? In reference to the pandemic or the war? Or Brexit? Any ideas?

MR TRULL (laughs): Okay, I’ll give it a go. It reminds me of another pop song with an infamously confusing refusal in the chorus: “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That).” Everyone always wants to know “What would he not do?” But as Meat Loaf always had to explain, each verse says exactly what he meant. He’d never forget her, he’d never forgive himself, he’d never stop dreaming of her… all the things like Rick Astley was never gonna do.

MR YOUNG: Ah, right!

MR TRULL: So following Meat Loaf’s lesson, let’s look at what Barson says in every verse before “Je ne le fais pas.” It’s “stand up tall against the wall, and one by one you all shall fall.” Which might mean a literal order to go before a firing squad for execution, or figuratively surrendering your freedom and dignity. I think that’s what he’s making a declaration of resistance against.

MR YOUNG: Sure. Brilliant. Why the use of French, though? 

MR TRULL: Who knows, maybe Mike thought “c’est la vie” was a cool phrase and worked backwards from there? Or it could be the character lives in a totalitarian state in danger of being killed for speaking out, so he protests quietly in another language so the fascists won’t understand. Or maybe he fantasizes about escaping to freedom in France, like the Walter Mitty daydreaming about Africa in Barson’s song on Norton Folgate. Remember, Act I is supposed to be about the possibility of escape.

MR YOUNG: Nice thoughts indeed, Mr Trull. One other point about the French. In Suggs’s one-man show What a King Cnut, he sings the Chelsea football terrace song that goes, “Celery, Celery, if she don’t c*m, I’ll tickle her bum, with a lump of celery…” Now that he’s singing “C’est La Vie,” some Chelsea fans are likely to misinterpret this tune entirely!

MR TRULL (laughs): Love it! « Celery ! C’est comme ça que, elle derrière ! » That’s straight out of Ted Lasso. Okay, let’s see what’s next…

“What on Earth Is It (You Take Me For?)” by C. Foreman/L. Thompson begins to play.

MR YOUNG: Ooh errr missus, the song formerly known as “Pussy Galore” and “British Film Standards.” You can trust a Foreman/Thompson tune to have strong guitar backing and saucy sax swirls. It’s a right old Thompson satire, this. Sheer nuttiness. He’s having a kerfuffle with the television set! 

MR TRULL: Oh, I thought it was about the depravity of modern life in general, but you say it’s specifically about TV?

MR YOUNG: Yeah, it’s loaded with British television references. “Watershed” means the 9:00 PM hour when adult programmes can start broadcasting. “Families at War” describes the violence, sex and scandal in most early-evening soap operas these days. Cucumber was a Channel 4 drama about sex crime and 21st century gay life. Abigail and Brittany are conjoined twins from a documentary series. “Take the money/open the box” was a catchphrase from a 1950s game show, Take Your Pick, where contestants decided on their prize of choice while the audience heckled them. And “Matron!” is…

MR TRULL: Wait, I understood that reference! Steve Rogers moment! That’s from the Carry On films, where there was always the prudish, middle-aged Matron lady. And they yelled for her when something risqué was going on.

MR YOUNG: Exactly. And “gawping at the dot” refers to how the picture on old cathode ray tube TVs turned to a glowing dot in the middle of the screen when you shut them off. Lee’s pointing out the hypocrisy of people complaining about all the brain-rotting filth on television, when all they need to do is take responsibility and stop watching it. He even pulls out the first F-word ever on a Madness record! Hate what’s on TV? “Just pull the effing plug out from its connector.”

MR TRULL: You know, it’s funny. As much as Suggs curses at every live gig, a studio F-bomb at this late stage comes as no meaningful shock.

MR YOUNG: True. So what do you think?

MR TRULL: Oh, I love it! Four biscuits. I can now say I actually comprehend the song, thanks to your telly intel. Perhaps railing against television is passé these days, with the medium dying out in favor of streaming and YouTube. But that’s okay, since TV still sucks. The only comparison I could draw to the song was Street Fighter 6, which has had me glued to my PlayStation these past few months. Thommo’s repeating sax riff sounds just like the “Ball Block Blitz” minigame, only in a lower key. Pretty sure that’s just a coincidence.

MR YOUNG: Well maybe Thommo will write a song about video game violence someday!

“Hour of Need” by M. Barson begins to play.

MR TRULL: Wow. This is something special. It’s so… intimate.

MR YOUNG (nodding): Mike’s been writing about male vulnerability since “My Girl”’s relationship confusion was so well-stated. Following the sweet “You Are My Everything” on Can’t Touch Us Now, we now have this sweeping beautiful song. It’s adorable. He’s the Brian Wilson of Madness, putting his whole heart into songs. Suggs performs this well, and excited the fangirl front row at Koko with his conveyance of “Hold me so closely.” Could there be a hint of illness in the lyrics, did he need comfort when he caught COVID back in 2021? 

MR TRULL: It makes me think of growing old, too. At their age, of course Barson and Suggs both have thoughts about aging and the need for comfort and ease in their dotage.

MR YOUNG: The song is universal and doesn’t really need specifics. It’s a deserving song transcending into the ranks of blanket feeling songs such as R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts” and The Beach Boys’ “God Only Knows.”

MR TRULL: Oh, I like the comparison to “Everybody Hurts.” Definitely. By that token, it also fits alongside “One” by U2 and “Black” by Pearl Jam. Another thing that strikes me is the strings. The melody is largely carried by pizzicato plucking, which for a lot of other pop bands would seem like a schmaltzy move. But then you remember “It Must Be Love” is all about that pizzicato. No treble. 

MR YOUNG: Er, right. The opening keyboards are like Mike’s stab at Depeche Mode’s “Strangelove.” Then those strings come in, and bang, it’s Madness. It’s all made to seem so seamless in the musicianship that you can’t spotlight one element when atmosphere prevails so holistically. 

MR TRULL: You could even consider “Hour of Need” a dark cousin to “It Must Be Love.” Through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. Five biscuits, easily.

MR YOUNG (earnestly): This emotionally moves me. I married this year. I heard this song at Koko and it resonated personally with me. When I compared notes after the concert, it turns out my wife had a similar transportation to a personal life moment with this tune. Proof we can all apply this to any emotional experience of coupled comfort or down distress of any kind. Go to this tune in your own hour of need. It will be there.

THE COMPÈRE (over a waltzing swirl of accordion and piano): The damsel in distress stands alone, with no one to defend her… No one.

MR YOUNG: Leftover material from “Le Grand Pantalon” takes us to continental Europe!

“Round We Go” by D. Woodgate begins to play.

MR YOUNG: And now for Woody’s lyric. (Listens.) Hey, it’s two gorgeous ballads back to back.

MR TRULL (after a pause): This is beautiful. Very much of a piece with his “Leon” and “Small World” from Oui Oui Si Si. 

MR YOUNG: Woody has said this song is about a mother’s love for her narcissist son. She makes the difficult decision to stand back and let “God’s gift” make his mistakes, hoping life will teach him lessons. We’ve all been close to people in life and been unable to steer them, when judging their egos has become too much. It’s a judgemental, wisdom-based distance, for right or wrong.

MR TRULL: It puts me in the mind of “Waterloo Sunset” by The Kinks, with the up-and-down singsong melody. And the backing vocals are so excellent. I think that must be Woody’s wife, who sang on “Small World”?

MR YOUNG: Er, no. That’s Woody’s new wife. Grace.

MR TRULL (embarrassed): Oops. Awkward! Well, fantastic work, Grace!

MR YOUNG: She has a great voice. I believe she had done some music before. As a matter of fact, I’ve a telegram here from Woody on the very subject of what she added to the song. (Produces a telegram from his vest pocket and slips on reading spectacles.) I’ll read it out, it means a lot. Ahem… “The band’s version is true to the demo that I recorded years ago, however the backing vocals that Grace recorded transported the song to another level. Without her the song wouldn’t sound complete. The song originally didn’t have backing vocals, there was something missing. Grace came up with the parts, and it all fell into place. I love what she’s done, it’s a truly soulful performance.”

MR TRULL: Fascinating.

MR YOUNG: I love the triple cross vocals ending. It’s majestic, singing in a round. It soars. Suggs’s singing is brilliant and so is Grace’s. Woody’s fast drumming in the chorus is a powerful upward gear change. He’s contributed a song here with depth and a unique topic. I have to report this might be my favourite song on the album.

MR TRULL: Again, five biscuits for me. I’m giving out a lotta damn biscuits here. And you know “Round We Go” must be important, because it’s the only song on the program with an entire act unto itself. But the question remains, who is the damsel in distress? Is it the narcissist’s mother? Or are the Martin Freeman speeches just a bunch of nonsense for absurdity’s sake? 

The curtain falls and the Compère takes the stage.

THE COMPÈRE: There will now be a whopping great intermission, during which small ice creams in very large boxes will be sold. Let’s be honest, most readers never got past the Prologue, and they may have all fled to Instagram already. And no, Mr Pseudo-Intellectual American, my spoken word pieces are not nonsense, thank you very much. We hope you will enjoy the remainder of the show.

Applause. A mellow lounge arrangement of “The Return of the Los Palmas 7” begins to play.

MR YOUNG (stands): Good, I’m off to have a wee.

MR TRULL (also stands): Wee wee, si si ja ja da da!

The two gentlemen exit the luxury box.

To be continued in:
SSM and MIS present Absurdlutely Mad: Une Critique Musicale (LP 2)